


be with the one that you love

by palateens



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Borderline Personality Disorder, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Not Happy, Pining, Trans Kent, Trans Male Character, stares at fic blinks runs away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12088860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens
Summary: “You make it easy,” Kent says.I would do anything to make you happy,he doesn’t say.





	be with the one that you love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SummerFrost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerFrost/gifts).



Kent chugs the rest of his Long Island. He wipes he mouth against his knuckles, pressing hard enough to feel where it’ll bruise in the morning. The music blasting from the outdoor surround system is strong enough that it could probably stop his heart. Or restart it.

It makes no difference considering how dead he feels inside.

He knows that he invited Jack here. He is painfully aware of the fact that he was under no obligation to invite his ex and his ex’s new boyfriend to his birthday party. It’s not like this fucking shit show is for him anyway. It’s mostly an excuse for Ozzy to pull out the best songs from last summer and Carter to play bartender for a night.

The pool is as packed as the deck...and the living room, upstairs balcony, half the bedrooms, the game room in the basement, the fire pit, and the volleyball court that’s probably being used for something illegal. Basically, everyone at this party but him is having a good time. Well him, and—  

“Bits!” Lardo shouts from the volleyball court. “Get your ass over here and help me with these goons!”

Eric Fucking Bittle pulls away from making out with Jack and runs around the pool as if he’s never heard of cracking a skull open in the pool. If anyone could survive that, it’d probably be him. The guy is like a cockroach. If cockroaches were two inches smaller than Kent, blonde, and had perfectly kissable lips.

Once upon a time, Kent would’ve done anything to put Bitty on a one way flight to Abu Dhabi and never here from him again. That was of course before Jack got traded to the Aces. Before he and Bitty begrudgingly moved halfway across the country to Kent’s personal purgatory. Before Kent got to know Bitty—passive aggressive sarcasm and all.   

But it was more than just meeting someone who can bite as hard as he barks. It’s the way Bitty licks his lips like he could devour anyone in his wake. It’s the way his smile can say a hundred different things based on how much teeth he’s showing. It's the timber of his voice that sounds like someone who knows what happiness looks like (hint: nothing Kent's ever seen). It’s the banter that makes Kent feel alive like he hasn’t in years. 

And really, because he’s still learning not to hate himself—it’s the fact that he knows he can never have Bitty that makes him completely irresistible.

Kent shakes his head, putting his drink out for Carter to refill.

“Fine,” Carter groans. “But I’m cutting you off after this.”

“One’s all I need,” Kent swears.

He’s not thinking about the bottle of Jack under his bed. But because that was his third Long Island and here comes his fourth, he can’t stop from giggling at the idea of drinking Jack Zimmermann. Because up until last week, Kent thought the most toxic thing he could do was think of Jack.

Bitty yelps on the other side of the yard, proving Kent once again wrong.

“On second thought, get me a shot too,” Kent says. 

Carter glares at him.

“Please,” he begs in his most pathetically sober voice possible. “It’s my birthday.”

Carter doesn’t take the bait. Kent clenches his fist until they start shaking. He finishes the drink in his hand, sad that it’s in a solo cup so he won’t be able to feel shards of glass in his hand when he smashes it against the bar top. He smashes his palm a little. It doesn’t hurt as much as he wants, but it’s good enough for now.

He thinks he’ll go masturbate and drink himself to sleep. That’ll be better than most of his last ten birthdays combined.

Except a hand catches his as he walks into the house.

He stops himself from flinching. He knows those calloused, warm hands by heart. He knows every knuckle and the trace of every line. He thinks if people could taste like something, Bitty’s stubble would taste like peach fuzz.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Bitty says loud enough for him to hear over the music.

Kent turns slowly enough to school his features before Bitty can see them. He gives a languid and pleasant smirk, the kind that says he knows where this conversation is going. Like maybe if Bitty plays along, all his wildest dreams will come true. Really Kent doesn’t, he’s just hoping to leave with most of his dignity intact.

“I was headed upstairs—maybe you and the bionic man back there wanna join me?” Kent lays the false charm on so thick.

Most people can hardly see past the first layer. Bitty constantly stares at him like he knows every bad thing Kent's ever thought about himself. He feels naked around Bitty, constantly. 

Bitty crosses his arms. “Hardy har har.”

Kent shrugs. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“I can and I will,” Bitty mutters. “Now if you think you’re gonna go up there to sulk—”

“I’m not going to _sulk_.” Fuck this asshole knows Kent better than he thought.  

“—Without giving me that birthday dance you promised, then you’re sorely mistaken, sir,”  Bitty says.    

Kent groans, allowing himself to be pulled outside. As if he hasn’t been waiting for this all day. As if it weren’t the only reason he’d even let this party go on for as long as it has. As if the feeling of his head nestled against Bitty’s shoulder, their thighs so close they could collapse into each other, isn’t the only thing that will be on his mind for days to come. Weeks even.

As if Bitty playfully chirp-flirting with him because they’re drunk and it’s Kent’s birthday won’t be the image that he falls asleep with tonight. Or what he mulls over the next time Bitty complains about Jack.

Because there isn’t a power on heaven or Earth that would stop Kent from giving Bitty the world, he’ll keep his mouth shut. In a few months when the season starts, he’ll keep his eye on Jack and make sure nothing happens to him for Bitty’s sake. When they’re on a losing streak and Jack gets a little too close-minded about their playoff prospects, Kent will be in the kitchen baking with Bitty. Not to make Jack feel better, but to take Bitty’s mind off the stress of it. He’ll dance with Bitty until he smiles so brightly that he can go back to Jack’s arms and feel like no one will ever break them apart.

He’ll do that again and again until his feet are sore and his heart is so bruised that it’ll want to give out. And when Jack’s contract expires in three years and he signs with another team, which he will, Kent will help Bitty pack up everything from the life they had in Vegas. He'll see him off like an old friend. Because that's what Bitty deserves, a happy ending. 

Maybe he’ll steal an old Samwell sweatshirt for good measure.

“I love you so much,” Bitty murmurs into his ear. “You’re a good friend y’know?”

Kent chuckles. It’s hollow but Bitty’s too drunk to notice.

“You make it easy,” Kent says.

 _I would do anything to make you happy_ , he doesn’t say. _I would tear out my heart. I would come out to the world. I would have your fucking baby._

Bitty grinds a little closer, caressing the inner part of Kent’s thigh. Kent chuckles. He knows it’s all in good fun. In the morning he won’t love Bitty nearly as much. In the morning he might tell his therapist everything, or he might tell her nothing and pretend like everything’s fantastic.

For now, it’s just two friends having a good time.

**Author's Note:**

> fic title - lyrics from Answer by Phantogram (and oldie but a goodie for pimmbits/bittyparse feels) 
> 
> I might do more in this universe? we'll see

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [there's something right (being close to you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352029) by [palateens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens)




End file.
